Trauma and the Human Experience - There IS Hope

Imagine yourself in a theater, captivated by a movie that delves into the very essence of the human experience. These are the movies that transcend mere entertainment, becoming more than just an afternoon activity. They resonate with us on a profound level, speaking directly to our individual identities and emotions. Some even go as far as claiming that movies speak directly to their souls, as if communicating with their very essence.

You’re completely engrossed in the movie, unable to look away or resist the temptation of the free popcorn refill. Every detail captivates you, and you can’t bear the thought of leaving your seat, even for a moment. You’re afraid that you might miss a crucial scene that could change the course of the story.

Now, let’s delve into the unparalleled human experience depicted in the Titanic. People of all ages met their untimely ends, a fact we were aware of before watching the movie. Yet, millions flocked to the theaters to witness this beautiful love story unfold. We anxiously anticipated their demise, yearning to somehow save them all. But alas, it was beyond our reach. The catastrophe commenced, and we were mesmerized by the authenticity of the moment presented on a 50-foot-wide screen. As the horror unfolded, we were both intrigued and shocked by the truthfulness of what we were witnessing. It was real, it actually happened. Watching that truth, in a chilly, packed theater, up close added to the sense of immersion, as if we were truly on the Titanic ourselves, living the moment in our minds. The sight of the iceberg sent a shiver down my spine, and the misty water on the screen seemed to envelop me. The media reviews described the theaters as eerily still and silent, as people witnessed victims clinging to the railings of a tipped ship, desperately trying to survive. Then, moments later, the silence was pierced by the sounds of sniffles and others holding back tears. That is a moment of the human experience.

But isn’t that what the mind does? We constantly process the reality around us, interpreting the visual cues that provide information about our surroundings. Even if we know something isn’t real, it can still have a profound impact on us as if it were. For instance, I shuddered at the sight of an iceberg, while you might have cried when Rose told Jack she wouldn’t let go and he tragically passed away. Alternatively, you might have smiled as Jack exclaimed, “I’m the king of the world!” while standing at the front of the ship with his friend.

And now let’s make a connection closer to home…

You see, memories of trauma or other events can be replayed in the movie theaters of our minds, and they seem real all over again. It could be a smell that triggered the memory, the way a stranger looked at you, a touch on your shoulder, or something else entirely.

What scents do you enjoy? What evokes memories of home? What makes you feel uneasy when you encounter it? What triggers emotions from the past, making it feel as though it’s happening in the present? What memories do you revisit, both positive and negative? We all have them. I could delve into the research on how memory is categorized and stored in our brains, but a more effective way to illustrate my point is by asking yourself the questions above.

And onward…..

Perhaps you’re watching a movie about the abuse, rape, or death of a child. The victim could be of any age, including a daughter, mother, brother, or grandparent. Arguably, all of those are beyond heinous. I’m sorry for those of you who are affected by the reminder if you relate to one of those examples.

Imagine someone living in a moment far beyond their comprehension, a moment when they have no control over what’s happening to them and are desperately seeking help and mercy—help from a parent or doctor, mercy from a perpetrator. Imagine the Titanic, a response to the SOS call that could have saved all lives on the ship.

What movie could you create based on your own experiences? What story could you tell? Could it be about a cancer survivor or a victim of abuse? Perhaps another disease that has devastated a loved one and is unbearable to witness? An unforeseen death? A rape? A beating?

Now, let’s connect the movies and our own stories…..

Back to the Titanic. The theater fell silent, filled with gasps, tears, and a hush as the unthinkable event unfolded—the Titanic began sinking. Everyone knew the script was leading to this moment, yet we clung to hope it wasn’t true. “NO! NO! It can’t possibly be, right?” Isn’t that the desperate plea of the audience just before the most heart-wrenching part of the movie played out? Did some of us not cover our eyes or hold our mouths? Were we not frozen in fear at the thought of where the movie was taking us?

The most distressing part for me was witnessing the children, those below deck who were unable to escape, lying in bed with their mother. I was acutely aware of their impending demise, and it stirred within me a profound sense of protectiveness and compassion for them. Which aspect of this scene did you find most horrifying?

What happens when those realities are not depicted on screen, and some of us actually experience them?

You know, when movies take us on journeys into our emotional minds, we can still stand up and usher our wait out of our seats. People may leave somewhat paralyzed by the realism of the experience, contemplating thoughts like, “What if that happened to me?” Nevertheless, we leave with reflections on what transpired and how it moved us. We might exclaim, “Wow, that was an amazing movie!” or “Wow, it just felt so real!”

What sets me apart from others is that we might leave the movie and think, “That DID happen to me.” On the other hand, those victims may leave the movie in utter turmoil, even if they managed to watch the entire show.

I’ve spent time outlining the effects of trauma when experienced in a two-hour cinema. I demonstrated how such an experience can impact us, causing momentary emotional disturbances, joy, or other feelings. It wasn’t even real, even if it was based on true events.

Let’s move on to trauma in the mind that is real...

I repeatedly revisit the concept of “theater” in my mind. When triggered by ordinary occurrences or objects, I relive trauma flashbacks. For those without trauma, such experiences can evoke a genuine emotional response, including feelings, thoughts, and a sense of being present, even though the event itself was not real. As I mentioned earlier, movies like Titanic don’t occur in real time, yet the audience remains moved and terrified. Consider horror films and how we often joke about being terrified by them, but we know it’s just a movie and can move on. However, we still harbor a fear that the scenes might replay in our sleep, causing us to have nightmares.

Some of us don’t comprehend that. I personally don’t get it. I don’t get the assurance that it was just a movie. I was the movie. I lived real experiences that movies only attempt to replicate. Therefore, for me, I am the one who has endured those most terrifying nightmares that others are so anxious about experiencing. Some people fear the ongoing tragedy of not knowing when the torment of the “movies” in our minds will finally end.

Think about it…some of us live nightmares, while others are only hoping they don’t. So, where is the hope I promised to present when I started this website/blog? Here it is…

If you resonate with this blog post, one takeaway is that you are not alone. You simply are not. I have struggled believing that others could comprehend my traumas and reactions to them. There are still times when I hold that belief. Each of us is unique and has our own experiences. Yet, understanding the effects of trauma and how it manifests in our minds is remarkably similar. We all experience feelings of depression or madness. Perhaps we feel powerless when triggered by something others never even consider. We might lash out or cry uncontrollably. Or maybe we feel sorrowful as we reminisce about what we have lost. We might sit and feel hopeless and worthless when we attempt basic, everyday tasks that others seem effortless. We might panic and feel safer in bed. We might fight the insanity of wanting to end our lives despite knowing we truly do not want to die. How long can we endure the internal conflict within us? How long can we cope?

I’m telling you that I understand what it’s like to be constantly aware of how depression can feel like an endless, unpredictable battle.

But I’m also telling you that we absolutely CAN find peace, even if it’s just for a short time to begin with. There are therapists or friends who can imagine it. There’s hope that those people can hold our hands and say, “I understand. I want to listen.” Even more, there are those of us who see it in ourselves because we’re living the same movie. It’s amazing when someone shares their feelings and you’re like, “Wow, that’s how I feel!” Perhaps it’s not often, but take this truth to heart: YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Find others in a group or a personal therapist. They’ve heard it and will validate your feelings and all those “crazy” thoughts you have. I guarantee that will happen if you find the energy to look and try.

Fight that inner voice that tells you no one understands. It’s simply a lie we tell ourselves, even though we believe it. And when you find others who share your experiences, you’ll see it too. Have hope today and be yourself!

Lastly, I hear you...I see you...I am with you.