Things to Consider When Selecting a Therapist

Finding the Right Therapist for You

Choosing to attend therapy is an incredibly courageous step—congratulations on making that decision. Once you’ve committed to the process, one of the most important factors in achieving success is selecting a therapist who is the right fit for you.

Not every therapist will align with your individual needs, personality, or goals. Likewise, every therapist brings their own personality, professional background, and therapeutic style. What is effective for one client may not be for another, and that’s perfectly normal.

This article outlines key considerations to help you choose a therapist who will best support your personal growth and emotional well-being. As you read, reflect on this question: “What am I looking for in someone I can trust and build a strong therapeutic relationship with?”

1. Be Patient

Finding the right therapist can take time. While the desire for immediate support is completely understandable, investing the effort to explore your options will pay off in the long run.

Rushing into therapy with the first available provider may result in months of sessions that yield minimal progress. In some cases, clients stay with a therapist who isn’t a good match simply to avoid the difficulty of starting over. Taking time at the beginning to find the right fit can prevent frustration and enhance the overall effectiveness of your therapeutic journey.

2. Consider Gender

For some clients, the gender of their therapist can play a significant role in their comfort level and openness. Reflect on questions such as:

* Do I feel more at ease speaking with men or women?

* Have past experiences influenced how I interact with certain genders?

* Do I tend to value or trust one gender’s perspective more than another?

There are no right or wrong answers—only what supports your sense of safety and trust in the therapeutic process.

3. Consider Age

Age is another factor that may affect your comfort or receptiveness. Ask yourself whether working with someone noticeably older or younger could impact your willingness to engage or accept feedback. This consideration is less about the therapist’s qualifications and more about the dynamics that help you feel most at ease.

4. Research and Review

Most counseling practices maintain websites that include information about their services and therapists. Take the time to explore these resources.

Many practices list areas of specialization—such as trauma, anxiety, depression, relationships, addiction, or LGBTQ+ issues—and may also highlight specific therapeutic techniques like EMDR, mindfulness, or somatic approaches. Some even offer integrative services such as acupuncture, massage, or aromatherapy.

You do not need to know exactly which approach is best for you, but reviewing available options can help you identify which practices and professionals align with your needs and preferences. A skilled therapist will be open to exploring different interventions or referring you to additional resources when appropriate.

Therapist profiles often include personal introductions or professional statements. These can provide valuable insight into their values, therapeutic style, and areas of focus. Some clients find it helpful to know whether a therapist shares similar cultural, spiritual, or personal perspectives. Every detail can contribute to finding a therapist who feels like the right fit.

5. The Initial Session

Your first meeting is an opportunity for both you and the therapist to determine compatibility. The therapist will want to understand what brings you to therapy and what you hope to achieve. Keep your initial summary concise, as this helps them assess whether your concerns align with their expertise.

Equally important, use the session to evaluate whether you feel comfortable with the therapist’s communication style, demeanor, and approach. Remember—you are a participant in this process, not a passive recipient. It is appropriate, and encouraged, to ask questions such as:

* What is your educational background and clinical training?

* What types of clients or issues do you typically work with?

* How do you view the importance of the therapist–client relationship?

* How often do you meet with clients, and what are your availability policies?

If, after a few sessions, you sense that the relationship is not a good fit, it is perfectly acceptable to share that feedback and request a referral. Ethical and compassionate therapists understand the importance of finding the right match and will support you in that process.

6. A Personal Reflection

When I first began therapy many years ago, I did not take the time to be intentional in selecting my therapist. As a result, I worked with several providers who were not a good match. Eventually, I became discouraged and stopped seeking therapy altogether.

However, when my symptoms of depression resurfaced and became overwhelming, I decided to try again—this time more thoughtfully. I followed the same process I’ve described here, and after careful consideration, I found the therapist who would become instrumental in my healing.

My therapist, Randy, is someone who challenges me when necessary, listens without judgment, and never gives up, even when I’ve wanted to. Over time, we built a trusting, respectful partnership that has allowed me to grow in ways I never thought possible.

Finding the right therapist has been one of the most transformative experiences of my life. With patience, self-awareness, and openness, I believe anyone can find a therapist who helps them feel supported, empowered, and truly seen.

I hope you find your own version of “Randy.”