Depression -- Can we truly overcome it? I say YES!

What you perceive as sadness, I call a lack of coping mechanisms and the inability to smile.

What you call distance, I call a fear of being seen.

What you call drama and attention-seeking, I call desperation for help.

What you see as struggling with life, I see someone trapped in a mind that sees no end to their suffering.

Depression, a word we’ve all come to hear more frequently, holds a deeper meaning for those who struggle with it than for those who “live” on the outside.

In 2011, I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Over the years, I’ve experienced more triumphs than immeasurable suffering, recovery, and reprieve. I now enjoy more days of beauty, allowing my mind to relax and take in the day’s refreshing breath. However, this hasn’t always been the case. I know all too well that those with depression can have few “good” days. What’s worse, we can almost forget that the good days were real as the weight of depression descends upon us once again. “Was that really a good day? Was I kidding myself? Will I ever feel happy again?”

Perhaps you’re struggling with depression and can relate to my statement about experiencing “good days.” Or maybe not. Perhaps you connect more with the questions I asked above. I can’t know for certain where each and every one of you is on your journey. What I can tell you is that there’s freedom from what feels like an endless prison sentence of the mind, and you can experience joy.

For almost two and a half years, my therapist would deliver these uplifting, optimistic pep talks about the “better days ahead.” I would simply stare back at him and manage to reply, “Okay.” Why? Because there were moments when I felt he was oblivious to the intricate workings of my mind and couldn’t possibly comprehend what I was experiencing inside. I quite pointedly informed him that he had no idea what it felt like to have depression. And honestly, if you haven’t experienced it, you simply don’t. It’s an absolute nightmare! I don’t care how many degrees a person holds or how many individuals a doctor or therapist has treated for depression; the individual experience is the ultimate education on what it truly entails. Sure, they can identify the textbook symptoms and diagnose a person, but they can’t truly comprehend the terror it inflicts on one’s mind.

Eventually, after much repetition, I would find myself in a place with him and regain a rational state of mind that allowed me to listen to what he was saying. After all, if we’re honest with ourselves, we seek therapy because we want help. It’s our depression, lack of hope, and anger that prevent us from believing what we’re being told, especially when they’re not “one of us.”

Of course, this may not be the case for everyone. I digress. But what is the truth? Can we feel better? Can we see a therapist and have them help us return to hope and belief, even when they seem unable to relate or comprehend? Or perhaps when we have difficulty expressing exactly how we feel inside? After all, there are no words to express what’s happening in our minds, and we sometimes don’t even understand what’s going on. However, I believe we can find the hope we need and decode the pieces of our minds that baffle us.

This is not just about seeing a therapist, although numerous studies have demonstrated that therapy can be equally effective as medication alone. While medications are often the initial step to provide relief, I strongly recommend following them up with therapy. Medications are one avenue on the path to recovery, and I am grateful for the ongoing research on medications that can combat depression and other mental health conditions. They can help individuals cope and reduce the detrimental effects of depression, enabling them to find the energy to engage in other activities, such as attending therapy sessions or simply rising from bed in the morning.

I suggest taking the medication. I certainly do and am not ashamed to admit it. Yes, there are times when I reluctantly take my “happy pills” because it makes me feel like I’m crazy. I think, “And if I didn’t take these? Oh, that’s right, I’d be a total mental mess and probably end up in the hospital! Woohoo!” How is that supposed to make me feel that medication is the only reason I’m somewhat sane? Ugh. And again, I digress.

Allow me to highlight the positive aspects of medication. While I have my own personal struggles with how it affects me, I continue to take them. The simple answer is that I want to feel well! Let’s put aside the stigma associated with mental illness and focus solely on the purpose of medication. Antidepressants are no different from any other treatment for illnesses. Let’s break it down. They are medications designed to treat disabling and frustrating conditions that help us feel better. That’s it. That’s the universal principle for all diseases or disabling conditions. Whether you have migraines, diabetes, high blood pressure, or anything else, when it comes to a physician’s signature for a prescription, antidepressants are no different from any other “magic pill” that can help us feel well.

While I’m grateful and recommend medication, I must caution against it. It can take time to find the right dosage or determine which medication works best for you. Therefore, when therapy can be equally effective in healing, why not seek it as soon as possible to begin that process as well? Moreover, research has shown that combining therapy and medication yields an even higher success rate in helping individuals with depression gain greater freedom from their minds compared to relying solely on one treatment approach.

I suppose I could spend time citing sources to support my thoughts on medications and therapy. I could, and if someone requests more information, I’ll be happy to provide it. However, I find it unnecessary to prove something that most of us already know to be true. After all, don’t we all experience moments of self-reflection and realize that we should seek help? We might think, “I should probably consult a professional. I genuinely wish I didn’t feel alone and couldn’t confide in someone. But who can I turn to? Who can offer assistance?” The truth is, even if you perceive life as bleak and hopeless, you likely desire help. Pay attention to those thoughts of seeking support. That inner signal serves as a clear indication that seeking professional help is a part of the solution, as it resonates with your own sense of meaning and purpose.

Mental illness and support for those struggling with depression are constantly in the news, on commercials, and on social media. These platforms don’t waste time advertising for something that isn’t needed; they do it because it is genuinely needed. We all know there’s help available. Doctors and therapists recognize that we might want help, and it’s there for us when we’re ready and feel comfortable saying, “I’m ready to get some help.”

I tend to ramble, but I yearn for you to hear me and know that there is hope. I may not be the perfect person with depression, but I am certain that my combination of medication and therapy works. Will I ever be completely cured? I’m not sure, but I’m becoming increasingly hopeful that my depression is becoming a part of my past and that I’m close to complete wellness. My days have improved, and the days of feeling helpless and despair are gone.

I can now see and enjoy the sun! I finally feel like a valuable and worthy person. Before seeking help, I had no such days. I mostly pretended. But I sought help, begged for it, and now, you know…when you’re absent from joy and one day feel it, it’s like breathing as though weightless.

Let me ask you, what would you do for even one day a week of feeling joy and happiness? Would you try getting help if it meant even one day a month of freedom from the sorrow of your mind? To be free even momentarily?

Like true happiness and a feeling of your body being weightless? Being able to wake up and want to get out of bed to face the day, take that shower, and maybe even dress a little nicer because you just feel good?

Sounds like a dream, but it can and does happen to those who allow it and work. It’s work, and it’s harder than anything I’ve ever done. I had to fight my way back to belief, take medication, and stop thinking my therapist was an overjoyed idiot who actually knew what he was talking about. At first, he annoyed me to the core. He was so incredibly positive and hopeful that I nearly vomited when he smiled. I can’t tell you how many times I told him I was going to quit. I would actually cancel numerous times only to drag myself back in as though against my own will. I just wanted it so badly to feel better. And yes, his demeanor still annoys me sometimes because he’s basically “a ray of sunshine,” but it works. It does.

I don’t know you, but I want for you what I’ve been given and worked for…the chance for even one day a week to feel joy. Is that what you want? And don’t let that part of you that doesn’t believe it can happen hold you back. WANT IT first, DO IT first, and the CAN —— that comes later.